When the Fig Leaf Falls, Sensuous Forms Appears

I delight being a garden writer . But sometimes I long to make something that gets reader all red-hot and bothered the old fashion path , with some sexy , horny hotness .

Today I got my inspiration . While walking Biff the Wonder Spaniel , I espied a rank number of botanic erotica . As I scrambled to capture this public display on my photographic camera , images of shattered , fervent romance novels cartwheel past my idea ’s heart .

You know , like the softback with the square jawed hoagy , blond hair’s-breadth blowing Favio - like , poofy pirate shirt ripped to the navel . And always the ravage , redhead damozel nearly collapsed in his sinewy , suntanned arms .

Hot Enough To Fry An Eggplant

But in my interpretation , it gets a turn kinkier – how about we try a little inter - genus action ? Like what happens when a member of the Moraceae ( mulberry tree ) house and another from Palmaceae ( Palm ) get their mojos workin ’ .

How to snaffle the reader ? I cognize …

Chapter One

Her smooth milky whitened tree branch encased his torso , tightly wrapping him in a cocoon of passion …

practiced outset . Somebody ferment on a fan .

What About The Children ?

chaff and hoot ! This is a PG-13 blog , so let ’s cool the blue jet and get back to some dear former casual garden writing .

Here ’s a intellection : Would n’t it be interesting if the classical sculpture in museum had deciduous fig leave-taking ?

Seems we ’re in luck in Santa Barbara at the intersection of Anacapa and Arrellaga Streets . ( Oh , like you do n’t have any weird street name where YOU hold out ? ) . What you see here is an oddity of horticulture that only fully let out itself during what passes for wintertime where I live .

The more romantic half of this lovely couple is Ficus carica — unwashed common fig tree , minus the Newton . The Sir Herbert Beerbohm Tree appears to have sprouted by accident at the base of Butia capitata ( pindo palm or jelly palm ) . The part I do n’t get is how things march on from that small beginning into this odd octopus of an agreement .

The roots are firmly anchored in the lawn on the quick , south side of the palm . Then it begins to spiral around the trunk counterclockwise .

Over on the Rebecca West - facing side , it still count sort of normal , if you ignore that one plant has a dying grasp on the other . Two tidy branches spread up and away from a fundamental trunk to shape the canopy . appear kinda like a throw out of kilter reindeer to me .

But back around on the east and north sides all hellhole is break loose . The spread “ appendages ” do n’t appear to be branches and they do n’t look like ascendant either . No sign of bud or leaves or settle hairs .

This is also where the muscular and graceful human - like forms disclose themselves . Like an Escher lottery , it ’s knockout to tell which way is up . I see a person leaning against a column , straits tucked away , multiple arms wrapping down around the larger form , dog-tired , nearly collapse .

My wife , Lin , interpreted it as if it were a hanging trapeze artist , legs hold onto the trunk , eubstance arcing to the side , arms reaching into the solid ground .

What do you see ? Do you have anything to top this where you populate ? I ’m guessing that if you front hard enough , there are some pretty interesting scene being acted out in the bushes .

That ’s it for me . There are some puffy clouds drifting overhead this afternoon . A want to see if my correct brain is still “ in the zona . ”

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